Mirrors lie. Ever catch your reflection unaware and see someone you didn't think you were? Whenever you knowingly approach a mirror you start the subliminal process of configuring your face and posture for the camera and your mind for the impact. You're ready. But if you're not braced, if you get ambushed, it can be a shock.
Particularly when you're young, you get this negative feedback thing going, you get self-conscious about being self-conscious, you know it shows on your face, and you know the fact that you know shows too. Even now in certain social situations - say, a gallery opening reception, I can start feeling spotlighted and my eyes turn intense and people shrink from me.
Sometimes I like how I look and sometimes not. These days I'm good, more than usual - I think there's a feedback thing going on with the drift of mood. Still, caught myself in a Walgreen's store cam screen today and couldn't fix my mouth to save my life. It looked like George C. Scott's.
Now, people are going to see you one way all the time or the other way all the time or they're going to mix it. First impressions are heap big medicine. You don't want to blow it. More to the core, you don't want their response to kill your smile.
Particularly when you're young, you get this negative feedback thing going, you get self-conscious about being self-conscious, you know it shows on your face, and you know the fact that you know shows too. Even now in certain social situations - say, a gallery opening reception, I can start feeling spotlighted and my eyes turn intense and people shrink from me.
You know Burns' thing, right? "O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!"
The best you can do is try not to lay faking it on top of whatever else is wrong with you. So see ya.
