Monday, January 2, 2012

Barefoot in the Grapes of Wrath


I run barefoot. Three or four miles, six days a week, barring sick lame or lazy.

I started on the first day of Operation Desert Shield, spring of '91, when I came to that point in life when you realize you have to take arms against the slings and arrows of outrageous fat or drown in a sea of lipids.

At first I wore shoes like anyone, but when I emailed a friend who knew me of old, she said, "I bet you don't do it barefoot." What? What? The hell I don't.

People ask me why I do it. I say,

For a woman (see above)
I'm lazy - shoes are heavy
I've always done it (I grew up in the country and went bohemian as young man)
General Vo Nguyen Giap, who whipped US techno-ass in Vietnam, said, like, "take away an American's boots and he's helpless"
Identity. I'm a barefoot kind of guy
To feel the world
It feels free
And, of course, nostalgia. Nostalgie des pied nus.

All these are true. I don't do it for the attention, although as time goes on there's a whiff of addiction in it. People (often the poor but also other runners) cheer me on, while others whisper or spit that it's ugly and unhealthy, and institutions throw me out onto the street, claiming laws and regulations, which is a damn lie, they're just making that shit up. Those laws, when considered, get rejected as nonsensical. How would my bare feet be more unsightly or infectious than their bare face?

In the early long-hair days I used to get yelled at out of car windows all day long. Some pretty picturesque catcalls, too. I kind of liked it. It makes you feel...special. So, the barefoot running thing has the same effect - I'd rather do it off in the country all alone, and will, by god, but the ejaculations of the Coliseum have become a secondary motive, a form of functional autonomy.

The Australians, I found, are a whole lot more at home with bare feet, even in restaurants. Interesting. I hadn't realized how puritanical we are. I'm going to try this in some other countries soon.

I don't do it for health, I have no idea whether it's good for anyone or not. Me like barefoot.

***

"In the United States, a few businesses or restaurants display dress code signs requiring shoes and shirts, claiming to be there on account of a health code,[citation needed] although no such health codes exist.[7] Also, it is common belief that there are laws against driving barefoot. However, no such laws exist."


Wikipedia article on Dress Code